Weekly Weigh In

Weighed myself today. I try to limit myself to only once a week. I also do it butt neked and first thing in the morning. Best results that way I think. I'm down 16 lbs baby!!! So, started at 312 and now I'm 296. I even have a handy little weight ticker now. Do you know how long I've wanted one of those? Like, forever! I should post a picture, but I'm not. Next time I will.

I've been on my surgeon supervised diet for a month now. It's been Heidi revised to be quite honest. It's still protein first and fluids, fluids, fluids, but I allow myself more leeway on the carbohydrates. I just couldn't comply to the super strict rules of the original diet. I did for the first two weeks. It was difficult to say the least. Yah, it pretty much sucked. (cue flashback music)

The first two weeks I felt like a drug addict getting detoxed. I was only having only 25 carbs a day, maybe. My youngest daughter Lindsay had some crackers and I nearly tackled her for them! One night I broke down in tears in the car and begged Jeff to drive to the nearest store for a Hostess cherry pie and a glass of milk. Jeff's been supportive of me and my crazy antics throughout the years and he could sense my desperation. This was real desperation, not the dramatics that may or may not go on at times. Jeff then asked me if that was what I needed to do to help refocus. I sobbed yes. I know at least half of that answer was in all seriousness and the other half was my body crying out for carbs. Sweet, delectable, life giving carbs! OK, so maybe I am an addict.

We stopped off at Yokes. My spirits were lifting the closer we got to the treat isle. Aaand the pie was mine. I held that pie in my hands for two hours. Looking at it. Thinking about it. Sugar soaked flaky crust surrounding cherry like substance! I was also thinking, do I really want this? Will this make all of my hard work these last two weeks be for nothing? Screw it! I opened that damn wrapper and took a big bite. It was...just OK. I didn't want it after the first few bites, but having been inducted into the Clean Your Plate Club at an early age, I finished it.

I had an epiphany after that sugar and fat laden treat. I knew I couldn't be as strict with myself like my surgeon wanted me to. I just couldn't do it. At least, not yet. It was however, what I needed to get my resolve back. I reassessed. As I added a few more carbs back into my diet, sanity was added along with them. I am loosing the weight and I'm doing it faster my way. I've noticed that it comes off in chunks. I need to be down 10 pounds by my next visit on June 9th. I'm already there and still going down. I'll need a cushion for some of the water weight I'm sure to put on in the drive up there. I'm doing alright so far.