I Can't Sleep

Sorry for the lack of posts that i said I was gonna post and then didn't post cuz I'm flaky like that. We ended up bringing Lindsay with us to Seattle. She is having the hardest time with this and is very scared. She was sick over me leaving her. For the record, she is never like that, it's just not her style. She is my laid back, do what you want, go with the flow kid. She's not the drama queen, so when she had the meltdown that she did, I knew I was bringing her.

We've changed plans so often on what to do with her. Bringing her was against my better judgement so I'm doing what I do, I'm rolling with the punches. She cried tonight and I just feel helpless.

It's almost midnight. The time when I have to cut off everything that goes in my stomach. I haven't pooped today, not good. I was hoping for something, but no. I haven't eaten too much today and I've only had maybe 70 oz of fluids. My preferred veins are all bruised and used up it seems from the iron infusions. They better find someplace to put that damn iv, because it sure as hell isn't going in my hand. NO WAY.

I'm scared. Apparently it is normal, I got an email from OH confirming that I'm normal. ::smile:: I know that my surgeon is one of the best and most skilled at this surgery. I told him about Stephanie today. He sad and held my hand and was genuinely sad, disgusted, and outraged at what had happened to her. He then went into detail about the surgery, his stats, how many he's lost (it's 4 and they didn't die from something surgery related), and that he's done thousands of surgeries. I'm in good hands, I'm in good hands, I'm in good hands.....Heidi, you're in good hands.

I'm heading to bed for the few hours that I may receive some kind gift from the Sandman. Hopefully I shall return tomorrow and feel good enough to report about how it went. Please keep me in your thoughts and my dear sweet and beloved family.